Although you can’t tell, I chopped off the 400+ words that came after this opening paragraph. When I stopped to reread my writing, I realized it was one long bitchfest about everything that is wrong in my life. I don’t think that is a good way to start 2012.

What am I going to talk about instead? I don’t know. How about New Year’s goals since that seems to be popular at the moment. Did you know that 99% of all resolutions are broken within the first week? Okay maybe I kinda made that up, but I heard somewhere that the statistic for broken resolutions in the January is high. I’ve decided not to make any resolutions, but I do have some things that I want to accomplish this year.

I want to read more books. I’ve noticed a decidedly lack of book reading in my life over the past few years. I read short stories online, but I can’t remember the last actual fiction book I’ve read. Mostly it’s been non-fiction stuff about writing and, of course, my own stories. I really think I need to start reading more books and definitely stuff outside of the erotica genre.

My goal this year, then, is to get one of those new-fangled eReaders. I’m not sure which one, though. What are my options? There’s the Kindle, Nook, iPad…I’m sure there are others but these are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head. Hooray for mass marketing. If you have any of these, please help me figure out what to get by sharing your experience. Also share some recommendations of great books I should read this year.

Another goal, of course, is to quit procrastinating and write more. My problem is I lack focus. I jump from project to project, so nothing really gets “finished”. I have so many ideas but not enough attention or discipline to see them through to completion.

For instance, I started a blog fiction series a few months ago and have yet to write the second episode. Well, that’s not right. I wrote the second episode and the third, but I realized it’s mostly fluff that can be told in a paragraph or two, so I need to rewrite them. Instead of focusing on that project, I get an idea for a new story and spend time chewing on that. Brain, why must you be so ADD?!

Anyway, what have you got planned for 2012? Hopefully something exciting and fun. Talk to me in the comments.

Pornography and Female Body Image

In the broader sense, the way in which pornography invites the viewer to see women is not a new subject of discussion and there is as much controversy surrounding this topic today as there was when pornographic material was just starting to become available. Interestingly, whilst there has been an almost endless amount of conjecture, discussion and tussling between the pro and anti porn lobbies, there have been very few studies that seek to directly question the buyers and users of pornography about what they feel adult material brings to their perceptions of women.

Recently, in one of the most complete and objective studies to date, an academic paper commissioned by the Australian House of Representatives and published on the website of an Australian adult DVD shop, surveyed 320 porn users to gauge how their exposure to adult material influences their perceptions of sex, sexuality and women. The results are somewhat surprising.

Firstly and significantly, it is not only men who buy porn; 1 in 5 of the survey respondents were female and they report buying porn both for themselves and for their partners, with whom they enjoy it as a couple. That wasn’t even thought about a few years ago, it was simply assumed that virtually all porn is purchased by men. Now it appears that women are not only watching pornography in significant numbers but they are buying it themselves and are relaxed enough about this fact to discuss it in a survey. Something of a renaissance for sure and a fact the anti porn camp finds rather difficult to deal with without demonising female porn fans.

Secondly, the report seems to confirm what common sense tells us in that whilst many men report using adult material mainly for simple sexual gratification, a much higher percentage of women use both porn and softcore erotica, to safely explore new areas of their sexuality, often tentatively trying out new ideas before launching into real life encounters that ultimately enrich and expand their sexual world. This is particularly true in areas of sexual interest that are not easily, comfortably or safely explored in real life. Examples of this range from S & M, a sexual interest that requires an extremely high level of trust in your partner, to themes based around bi sexuality which again is not always easily accessible at least in the early stages of exploration.

Now despite the rumbling concerns of numerous anti porn pressure groups, can the use of porn by women for sexual exploration really be that bad? It does seem unlikely. Whilst this is a very positive start to extolling the benefits of porn for women, there is more, quite a lot more in fact.

When questioned about their attitudes to female body shape and what constitutes a sexually attractive woman, a huge percentage of porn buyers, both men and women, said that their interest in adult films had helped them accept a wider range of body shapes as being sexually attractive. The huge variety of adult DVDs and downloads now on offer allows people to explore sexual concepts that would not have been available to them previously and this exploration exposes pornography users to female body shapes that are far removed from the stereotypical porn star figure one would encounter in more traditional top shelf magazines.

Now this is certainly a surprise for many people but surely anything that promotes sexuality as having a myriad of different forms must be positive for the adult industry and its customers. However, more importantly than that, offering people the opportunity to gain sufficient exposure to different types of body shape that they arrive at the conclusion that women can be sexually attractive without being 50kg and having large breasts is an unexpected but most welcome benefit of pornography that could have far reaching consequences in mainstream society.

Whilst a watchful eye must always be kept on the messages adult films convey and women’s rights within the adult industry must continue to be protected, if women are increasingly involved not only as producers of adult material but as a growing and powerful consumer force, there is at least some hope for balance and a chance for porn to be a positive influence in people’s lives.

No wonder I like them so much, LOL!

[Via Work Fails]

He woke up with an erection.

Normally, there would be nothing particularly notable about that. He was male. It happens. But the moment he opened his eyes, he knew it wasn’t that he had simply woken up with a chubby. His chubby had awakened him. More specifically, the lovely sensations radiating from the highest point of every man’s body; at least when he was laying down.

Daven stared at the ceiling, waiting for the plain green paint come into focus before turning his attention to his stiff penis. There it was pitching a ten in the white bed sheet that covered his lower body. Almost immediately he realized that his penis was acting like a radio tower, picking up the sexual signals of the female vigorously masturbating next to him.

Lil didn’t yet realize he was conscious, giving him a few minutes to take in the almost picture perfect pornographic scene next to him. The bottom of her sleep gown was hiked up to her hips, exposing smooth peach legs that were arranged haphazardly on the bed. Her hand moved rhythmically between hairless vaginal lips.

Her tempo varied between slow and fast. He could feel the sensations undulating between a quick rise and a slow cool down. Her eyes were closed but she didn’t appear to be thinking of anything in particular. Just random images of men and women; sometimes engaged in sexual intercourse and sometimes simply parading around naked showing of their assorted curves and muscles.

Too soon the activity stopped. She opened her orange brown eyes and smiled at him. “I knew that would wake you up.”

“I’m awake,” he confirmed.

“My hand is tired,” she said, answering his feelings of disappointment when it was apparent she wasn’t going to continue. She sat up on the bed. “Do you know how long I’ve been at it? Half an hour. Now that I know it takes forever to wake you up that way, I’m not doing it again.”

“Did you climax? I would have woken up from that,” he protested.

“No because you would have gotten cum all over the sheets and I know how much you hate that.”

“True.”

“Now that you are awake,” she said with a big smile, “It’s time to get up.” She grabbed his arm and attempted to pull him in an upright position.

“No, I don’t want to get up,” he said, resisting her efforts.

“Oh come on,” she cajoled. “You’ve been asleep for 26 hours. I didn’t even think that was possible.”

“I wasn’t asleep the whole time.”

“Bathroom breaks don’t count,” she said, pulling on his arm again. “You must actually stay awake and feed and shower and take me outside. I am the shadow and I need to replenish my energy stores with lots of natural sunlight.”

He made a face turning his head to see blue sunlight streaming in the bedroom through the floor to ceiling windows. “Just stand by the window.”

“I did that yesterday. I want some fresh air.”

“Just open the window.”

“Daven,” she gave him a slightly frustrated look.

“Lil, today I want to obey the laws of physics. My body is at rest and wants to stay at rest.”

“I’m not eating energy balls all day again today. First of all, only nasty red ones are left. Second, I ate too many and I’m starting to feel over stimulated.”

She stood up and kicked the covers aside exposing his naked body. The cool air caused his chubby to shrink back into a stubby. He was sad to see it go. “Get up, get up, get up,” she said jumping up and down in an attempt to bounce him out of bed.

“All the bouncing in the world isn’t going to make me get out of this bed.” But he spoke too soon. The jarring reminded Daven his bladder was full.

“And take a shower ‘cause you’re ripe,” she said.

Reluctantly, he dragged himself out of the bed and trudged to the bathroom. After relieving himself, he took one look at his reflection in the mirror and decided it was probably a good idea to clean up a little even if he did plan on spending the day in bed again.

Well, most of the day anyway. Lil was right. He did have to take her outside. As his shadow, or soul as the religious whimsically called them, she didn’t eat food to sustain herself. Rather, she produced her own energy but required at least thirty minutes in the sun on a daily basis. He didn’t quite understand the biology. Something to do with energy from the sunlight serving as a catalyst of some sort in the process.

Daven suspected this is why he’d been so lethargic of late. For two weeks he had been trapped at the office working to finish a coding project by the due date. It never ceased to amaze him how the bureaucracy at his workplace would stall a project until the very last minute forcing him and his coworkers to scramble to complete it. It was exhausting on all levels, even spiritually. All he could do at the end of a production was sleep.

Lil was all too familiar with the routine having suffered through all them with him. He didn’t blame her for wanting to go outside and get some fresh air. She had been subsisting on energy balls and lightboxes, rooms that simulated the energy of the sun, to keep from burning out and falling ill. And since they were interconnected on every level except the physical one, he would suffer whatever fate befell her.

He brushed his teeth. In the mirror, he could see the laundry basket overflowing with dirty clothing and he took a moment to look around the bathroom. It had definitely seen cleaner days. He suspected the rest of the apartment didn’t look much better. Daven sighed, feeling a distinct lack of motivation.

After showering and using his last remaining clean towel to dry off, he returned to the bedroom not even bothering to look for clean clothes to put on. Instead, he went to the window to see what the weather looked like before turning back towards the bed.

Lil wasn’t kidding about being over stimulated. She lay on her stomach, vigorously waving her feet in the air while chewing on her thumbnail. She stared at the television set as though at any moment a million gold coins were going to pour out of its flat screen. He could feel the nervous energy coursing through her and it was starting to make him restless too.

“I don’t think we are going outside anytime soon,” he said.

She gave a small grimace. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” But the next moment, she snapped her head around to look at him, a large smile filling her eager face.

“And yes we will go to the Vigorosa Spa,” he said.

“Yay,” she exclaimed clapping excitedly.

——————Commercial Break——————

——————Commercial Break——————

Lil turned back to the television. Although the screen looked like plain static to him, it was a station designed specifically for shadows. It was raw code which required the computational powers of the shadow mind to compile into usable images and sound. In fact, he could feel the television program playing in the background of his mind.

“No, don’t change it,” Lil protested as Daven snatched up the remote and entered in a random number. He didn’t like Lil watching that channel but he couldn’t say exactly what about it that bothered him. “We are not watching Batball,” she declared as he dropped on the bed next to her.

“I haven’t watched a Batball game since the season started,” he said.

“It’s so boring. All they do is hit a ball across a field.”

“I can’t believe we are the same person.”

She snatched the remote from him, “It’s called being complex.” She flipped to a game show where adult contestants competed for prize money by answering questions designed for school aged children.

“What is the official scientific name for Valosians?”

“Homo Sapiens Sanguine,” Lil answered. Daven snatched the remote control from her. “Hey!”

“That game is an insult to intelligent adults everywhere.” He entered in another random channel. After a moment, he realized it was a show they both enjoyed watching; a police procedural where law enforcement agents used a mixture of science and metaphysics to track down killers. They looked at each other in a silent truce and watched.

Now that he was conscious and moving around, Daven realized he hadn’t eaten anything or fed in over a day. He was hungry for food and for essence. But he couldn’t decide if he wanted to feed first or get breakfast.

Lil pushed her long, curly brown hair to one side exposing the soft, creamy skin of her neck. “Feed first,” she said. “That will make some of this excess energy go away.”

Daven didn’t hesitate. He climbed on top of her as she flattened herself against the bed. She was warm but it was more than body heat that infused his pale, cool skin. It was the warmth of life emanating from her; the essence that filled and sustained all living things. Having Lil this close to him was like being outside in the sun. Soothing and stimulating at the same time.

He placed one hand in her hair and one on her upper arm enjoying the feel of her silky skin under his fingers. In contrast to his bluish white skin, she was a warm, peach color that always made him think of biting into one when he fed. He kissed the skin at the junction where her neck met her shoulder. She sighed and he felt the flare of pleasure course through her body.

Once, at First Day worship, he confessed to the family priest that he got sexually excited every time he fed on Lil. The priest told him that feeding was supposed to be a strictly spiritual experience and not a sexual one. Though they were two beings coexisting as one person, they were considered to be the same person simply separated into two distinct levels of existence; the physical body with all its earthly needs and the shadow which facilitated the flow of divine wisdom from God to His imperfect creation.

He remembered the priest giving him disapproving look and sternly lecturing that sexual pleasure experienced during feeding or any other interaction with one’s shadow was considered a sin and acting on those feelings were to defile one’s soul. Two days later, the man was caught defiling the shadows of little boys. That was the last time Daven went to First Day worship.

The life energy of their shadow sustained them just like the food he ate and the air he breathed. No doubt there was a spiritual element to feeding but there was also a violent one. Feeding required biting into Lil’s body and sucking her essence into his body. Inexplicably, the experience was intensely pleasurable for both of them. The religious could talk all they want but the sexual aspect was never going to be condemned away.

He held her close, burying his face in her neck and breathed deeply. She smelled sweet, warm, and spicy like nutmeg. He rested his lips against her neck, feeling the rhythmic pulse of life flowing through the thick vein. Trying to be as gentle as possible but feeling that animalistic impulse, he sank his elongated incisors into her neck. She tensed slightly at the pinch but relaxed immediately as tingles flooded her body.

Drinking essence was like drinking liquid sunshine. It filled him with light and unleashed a myriad of emotions like hope, compassion, and love. It was like a strong wind blowing through a house and opening every door to chase away the must and dust. At the same time, it was unbelievably stimulating. All of his senses were heightened. Tingles flowed through his veins waking up every part of his body. By the time he had had his fill, he was fully aroused again.

Reluctantly, he broke away and watched as the small wound on her neck healed itself. He kissed the now smooth skin feeling as though he were glowing. Lil could feel his erection. It was an odd sensation. Not only could he feel her body against him but he could also feel his body on her from her perspective. It was like being in an echo chamber where the sensations bounced from one body to another in an infinite loop.

She parted her thighs and pressed against him. He obliged her pushing himself as deep inside as he could go. She felt hot and wet and tight against his cock which was strange considering shadows supposedly had not physical characteristics of their own. His father once told him that how a shadow looked, felt, smelled, and even tasted was an illusion. They were mirrors, he said, who reflected the thoughts and expectations of the physical mind. Daven wasn’t so sure about that.

While he never had been able to figure out if she truly felt sexual pleasure or if she was simply reflecting his feelings of lust back to him, she moved and responded like a real female. Their unique connection ensured they were the perfect sex partners who did everything right to guarantee an explosive finish.

He slipped his hand under her body to reach the stiff button nestled between thick vaginal lips. “Oh,” she moaned low in her throat at his caress.

Feeling the impulse, he withdrew from her and Lil turned over. She pulled her nightgown off, letting it slip over the edge of the bed to the floor. She looked like a fantasy with her mass of dark brown hair spread out in a curly halo around her face. Those peculiar orange brown eyes stared lustfully at him. Large breasts formed the top half of an hour glass shape that ended with full hips. Open legs exposed a bare vagina whose thick lips gaped open slightly to display the wet scarlet colored inner folds.

He loved committing this particular mortal sin.

“Ah,” she let out a soft moan as he worked himself inside. Her pussy greedily swallowed every inch of him even suckling slightly as the smattering of slightly raised bumps right above the base of his cock came into contact with her clitoris. “Slow,” she whispered.

He thrust deep and slow, stopping every few moments to ground his pelvis against her. He loved the sounds she made. She wanted it to last longer. So did he. Too soon their climax approached. He couldn’t hold himself back any more. Before he knew it he was pounding her pussy hard and fast. He felt the sweet release of her orgasm just moments before his own; the sweet high rebounding between them for several intense minutes before slowly subsiding.

He lay on top of her for a few moments before pushing himself up on his forearms. “Okay?”

“Of course,” Lil said with a sweet smile. “Again.” She took his smiling face in her hands and kissed him.

Suddenly, his bedroom door flew open.

They stared in shock at the figure of his sister and her shadow standing in the doorway. She looked at Daven, at Lil, and then at Daven a disapproving frown clouding her already stern face. “Are you going to stay in bed masturbating all day?”

[To Be Continued...]

——————Commercial Break——————
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Copyright © 2011 Daria Black All Rights Reserved.

Credits

Black and white image from Decadent Lifestyle

For about two years, though, I’ve been delving into a completely different genre of games: Hidden Object. The purpose of these games is to find a list of objects in the game scenes. When I first started playing this type of game, you only needed to find the objects in order to unlock other levels in the game. However, the genre has advanced and now certain objects you find must be used in other areas of the game in order to advance.

Last night, I played a fairly new game called Dark Dimensions: City of Fog. The game was created by Daily Magic Productions and released by Big Fish Games. I played the Collector’s Edition which includes bonus content like extra game play, wallpapers, and sound clips of the music played in the game.

The story line revolves around a cursed city called Silvertowne. In the early 1800s, a young girl named Lillian was set to marry the son of the town’s richest family. Just days before her wedding, however, she dies mysteriously. The tragedy of her death causes Silvertowne to be enveloped into a fog that traps it and its residents in limbo.

Dark Dimensions: City of Fog opens with a cut scene of an obsessed man who is upset that Lillian is marry someone else. When the game starts, you are standing just outside of town. Clicking on a journal in your car reveals your back story.

When you were a child, you lost your family in a tragic accident car accident. You are the only survivor. Since then, you have been attracted to the paranormal. Out of the blue you received a mysterious letter directing you to check out Silvertowne. The death of Lillian caused the town to fall into a Dark Dimension. You are tasked with finding out what happened and setting things right.

I found Dark Dimension: City of Fog to be your typical Hidden Object game. In addition to the usual hidden objects mini games, you also solve puzzles. Many of these puzzles are missing pieces that you will find around town. I didn’t find the puzzles to be particularly challenging. However, what I did find annoying is that instructions for the puzzles were few and far between. You are left to guess what you need to do to solve some of them.

The Hidden Object mini games do deviate from the norm in that some require you to combine items in order to create an item on the list. For example, in the first Hidden Object mini game you play, you must attach a watch chain to a watch in order to clear the item from the list.

The artwork is decent and the soundtrack is easy to listen to. The game has several cut scenes in which you actually talk to the ghosts left behind who provide information about Lillian’s situation. These would have been enjoyable to watch had it not been for the game’s performance.

I don’t know if it was my computer or the game itself but the game ran slow. I’ve played other games from Big Fish Games before with no performance problems so I’m inclined to think it was the game. After awhile it got to be very annoying to do even the simplest thing in the game. By the time I made it to end, my level of frustration was so high that I didn’t even bother to play the bonus game content. If it weren’t for that, I would be inclined to give the game higher marks.

If you are able to get the game to run efficiently on your machine then Dark Dimensions: City of Fog is a decent time waster. Big Fish Games offers a free hour of game play so you can test how it will do on your machine before you fork over the $13.99 to buy it. Otherwise, there are other great games available that are much better and have no issues with performance. I’ll be reviewing those in the coming weeks.

Talk to me in the comments. What games have you played lately that you enjoyed?

I Give This Game: ★★☆☆☆ 

Buy Dark Dimension: City of Fog Collector’s Edition

Get the Game Walkthrough

It’s not that I’ve been anti-social. Sure there are days when I’m like, “Fark the world!” But I didn’t have any of those days this week. I actually wanted to be outside enjoying the good weather. I’ve been working to earn some extra money for a toy I want to buy. Oh and for rent and stuff.

As I was leaving my apartment, I noticed some of my neighbors having picnicking on the grass. At first I thought they were crazy. It was hot as hell when I went outside. The moment the heat hit my face I was ready to turn around and go back into my apartment, food or no food. But then I noticed that the some of the trees are starting to turn colors. That could only mean one thing.

Fall is here!

Officially, the first day of fall isn’t until September 23 but I’m excited anyway. While some people are clinging to the last little bit of summer like my neighbors, I’m Jonesing for fall to start.

I love fall. I love the changing leaves and cooler weather. This is the time of year where I get to wear awesome turtleneck sweaters and jeans. It’s also the time of year for caramel apples, pumpkin pie, and copious amounts of calorie laden candy. Halloween is just around the corner and I can’t wait to put up the pumpkin lights and watch horror movies all month long.

I’m not sure exactly what it is about fall that I like so much. It may be that it leads into winter which I passionately love because of the snow. According to the all-knowing Wikipedia, fall is associated with melancholy. Apparently, spring and summer are thought of as the seasons of possibilities. Their passing as well as the coming of winter, which is associated with barrenness and death, makes people feel sad.

As a person who struggled with depression, and still sometimes do, I can get with that idea. After all, if you love summer and sunshine, then the switch to grey skies, long nights, and snow would make you depressed. Well, unless you are a football fan. Then you would probably be ecstatic.

Fall and winter are also associated with introspection which, as a thinker, I’m totally into that. My mind is constantly chewing on something. Today, while trying to decide between bacon and sausages, I noticed how busy the store was because of Labor Day. I started wondering what would happen if a giant robot suddenly came storming through the grocery store parking lot. What if I was the only customer unfazed by it and went about my shopping as if it was normal to have giant robots kicking around luxury cars and vaporizing people with its laser eyes?

This, my friends, is why I am a writer.

Anyway, I am excited for fall. What’s your favorite season? Talk to me in the comment section.

Soon you will be mine!

© Doug Savage

But the economy stubbornly refuses to improve. Feel free to thank our government representatives for that. Since I’m a self-employed freelance writer, I have to focus on doing the writing that pays the bills which leaves very little time for my personal stuff. I wouldn’t have to do this if people didn’t insist on getting money from me.

Take, for example, my landlord. Things would be so much easier for me if they accepted my proposal to pay them with exposure. I was all like, “I have this totes awesome blog that gets 50 hits a week! I will promote you like crazy to my 6 readers and my 103 Twitter followers and all I want in return is a free place to stay.” I even threw in some free articles but she kept saying they can only take cash. I don’t know why they didn’t go for such a sweet deal.

So until bartering makes a comeback, I’m stuck ghostwriting for cash. Unfortunately, by the time I have an hour or two for my own projects I have no creativity left to write blog posts or fiction stories. This makes me sad. If I am to become the J.K. Rowling of erotica, then I need to, you know, actually write stories.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have a ton of stuff in the first draft stage. First drafts are no problem for me because my first drafts consist of stream of consciousness writing. I turn off my internal editor and type. Sometimes an actual story with a plot and fully developed characters results from this. Usually, though, I get a few pages of story notes, e.g. ‘The protagonist goes into the room and finds his fiancé having sex with his father. Surprise!’

Where I start having problems is when I have to take that mess and turn it into a coherent thought. At that point my brain tells me it’s done all the thinking it’s going to do for the day and clocks out. Instead of writing, I end up doing things that don’t require thinking like play Spider Solitaire. I’ve gotten so good at this game that my win percentage is 78% right now.

My life is so full of win right now.

This weekend, though, I had some extra time which I spent sifting through all of the articles I’ve written. As you know, I’ve been having some trouble with Google since their “F**k you” update otherwise known as Panda. I suspect duplicate content may be part of the issue.

My blog archives currently contains content from three websites I used to own. When I took a break from the internet, I moved all of those posts to my WordPress.com blog. When I created this blog, I transferred all of those posts over here. I think Google considers this blog to be a copy of all those other sites I used to own. Even though there is some unique content on this blog, it is not nearly enough to counteract all of the duplicate posts. As I’m sorting through the posts deciding what’s going to stay, what’s going to go, what’s going to be rewritten, I discovered something very disturbing.

My writing has gotten boring.

As a ghostwriter, I must write in a neutral tone devoid of personality so the client can claim the article as their own. I’ve been writing that way for so long, it’s carried over into my personal projects. I was reading an article I recently wrote to submit to content directories and the difference between the way I write now and my previous articles is enormous. It’s so bad, you would think I had a split personality disorder. What’s worse is the writing is boring. Even I started fading in and out while reading the article. How crazy is that?

This made me realize I have to make time to write. I have to use my voice or I’m going to lose it. There are tons of wanna be Rowlings out there. Tons. The only thing distinguishing me from them is my voice. Without that, I’m just another monkey banging on a typewriter. And unfortunately for me, the typing monkeys have already published a novel called Atlanta Nights so I can’t even go for the novelty effect.

*Sigh*

So how are you developing or preserving your writing voice? Talk to me in the comment section.

[cartoon courtesy of Doug Savage of Savage Chickens]

(via Failbook)

This is straight up truth (pun intended). Things could be going well. The sun is shining. There are double rainbows in the sky. Then, all of a sudden, life starts throwing angry birds at you and knocking down all of the buildings you worked so hard to erect.

But the great thing about life is that good things can happen for no reason at all too and help can come from unexpected sources. If life is currently beating the crap out of you, just curl into the fetal position and realize eventually things will get better.

Theme Change

You may have noticed that the theme has changed. A really good friend of mine bought it for me hoping it would cheer me up. I’m still in the process of moving the furniture around but so far I like it. If you are reading this in your feed reader or email, stop by and let me know what you think.

You are not alone dude. Some days I feel the exact same way. [Via CuteOverload]

When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical. – Unknown

As a person who has been playing around on the internet for awhile now, I can safely say that it is a pretty hostile place. There is a thing called “Keyboard Courage” that emboldens people to say things to others online that they would never say in person.

Personally, I think it’s because the person never has to suffer the consequences of their words. Although there are stories of people who have hunted down internet antagonizers in a quest to do them bodily harm, the vast majority of people who act like asshats never have to come face to face with the person they are talking shit to or about.

If you are the person who is being insulted, ridiculed, yelled at, or generally subjected to some of the nastiness found online, it can be very upsetting. I think this is partly because we expect people to behave in a civilized manner online and we are shocked when confronted with the reality that the internet is nothing more than a zoo populated by hairless monkeys hunched over their keyboards slinging digital poo at each other. I certainly was surprised the first time an internet asshat slung a virtual turd in my face.

It was really strange because when I first met them, they were really nice. They were a little heavy handed with promoting their website on the forum I was a member of. Other than that, though, they played well with others. Little did I know what was simmering beneath the smiley face icons. The moment a member of the forum crossed them, the tiger claws came out and ripped the forum to shreds.

They became completely unreasonable. They lied. They insulted other members of the forum. They would post 10, 20, 30 replies to forum topics calling people stupid, ignorant, dumbass but go bawling to the moderator when members would return the sentiment. In addition to that, they would tell their friends how horrible they were being treated on our forum and we were inundated with posts from their equally deranged posse. It was a flame war of volcanic proportions.

But the fun really started when that person was finally banned from the forum.

They waged an internet Jihad against us by jumping from forum to forum to forum raging about our community as well as individual members. I couldn’t believe it. But what really blew me away is that we were not the first community they did this to. Other communities and individuals had been victimized by this person in the same exact way. It was insane.

I’ve had other run-ins but that one was the most memorable because up until that point I had only interacted with reasonable people online. That was around 2004-2005. Today, 2011, the crazy dial has been turned up and people are now vomiting their frustrations on any and every website that has a comment section. Chances are very good that you will eventually meet a flamer who will attack you just because you happened to be there.

So how do you handle situations like these?

Well, the first thing you should do is thicken your skin. The insanity is not going to go away. With the economy and political situation being the way they are, it’s only going to get worse. People are frustrated, scared, angry, stressed, and uncertain. A lot of them don’t have an outlet in their real life for the negative energy roiling inside of them so they take to the internet and pound out their rage on their keyboards.

If you are going to be online, you need to learn how to let it just roll off your back like water. Otherwise, you will find yourself either following in their footsteps and becoming just as abusive or hanging yourself from the tree in your front yard.

The second thing you need to do is realize that their attitude problem has nothing to do with you even if they are attacking you directly. It’s everything to do with them and the demons knocking around in their head. Let me give you an example.

I was criticized on an internet forum for using the word vajayjay instead of vagina in a comment I made about being childless by choice. The person thought that I was being childish for using the word. I thought he was being ridiculous. Then another one jumped on the bandwagon. I still didn’t take either one of them seriously because neither of them owned a vajayjay. But then it progressed to one of them calling me a childish simpleton. That’s when shit got real.

But upon thinking about it, I should not have dignified their reaction with any kind of response. First, in their minds they believe that an adult woman should not use the world vajayjay to describe her vagina. To them, the vagina was serious business that should be taken seriously. What does that have to do with me? Absolutely nothing.

Their problem with the word vajayjay was exactly that; their problem. They tried to infect me with their ridiculous belief and they almost succeeded. However, as Eleanor Roosevelt once said, no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. I decided to take ownership of the word vajayjay and add it to my everyday vocabulary. If they don’t like it then they can kiss my vajayjay.

The truth is I am not responsible for their preconceived notions and the same is true of other asshats that troll the internets looking for a fight.

If I was addressing a room full of doctors and scientists then maybe the criticism would have made sense. I wasn’t. It was an internet forum where we were invited to give our opinions about the childless by choice movement. This brings me to my last point. You must be discerning. There are times when criticism is warranted and times when it is complete bullshit. Learn how to tell the difference and you will be able to deflect attacks by internet asshats like Wonder Woman’s indestructible bracelets.